by Anna Moise, NCC, LPC-MHSP (temp.)

If you’re reading this, I’m sure the idea of “busyness” isn’t new to you. Now more than ever it seems like we idolize having schedules jam-packed with activities, leaving little room for down-time. You may think I’m here to tell you that piling a lot on your child’s plate is the worst thing you could ever do, but like many things in life, scheduling activities is all about balance. There is such thing as too much, and there is no perfect answer- it’s all about finding balance for your child.

Signs it’s too much

Outside of Rooted, I work full-time at two middle schools counseling students. One of the most common themes the kids I see talk about is how much they have to do. If a student comes to me stressed out about when they will get everything on their list accomplished, something I like to do is sit down and write out a schedule of their day. My hope is that this will help my students visually see the chunks of time they have in their day to get things done. For some, this strategy works wonderfully; for others, my hand cramps writing down everything they do after school during the week. One of my students regularly does not get home until 9pm to start her homework. She’s stressed, she’s tired, and she’s had enough. She’s also just 13 years old. Whoa.

So, what’s too much?

For starters, you know your child best- trust your gut, but if you’re starting to wonder if you’re overscheduling, maybe consider asking yourself some of these questions:

Does my child consistently dread going to [fill in the blank] practice or lessons?
Does my child have enough time to complete their homework daily?
Is my child going to bed at a reasonable time?
Sometimes boredom is good- are there pockets in the day when my child is challenged to think creatively about how to fill their time?
Why is my child in [fill in the blank] activity? Is it because they want to or because my anxiousness of what they “should” be doing is taking over?

Finding Balance

“Balance” will inevitably vary family to family, season to season. Maybe your family is going through a season where there is simply no time to chauffer kids around to activities. Maybe your child truly enjoys every activity they are a part of you’re trying to be their cheerleader through it all without taking away something they love. That’s ok. Like I mentioned earlier, no one knows your child like you do. Tune-in to any changes in moods and behaviors and something tells me your instincts will kick-in if their plate is overflowing.

Ideas to find balance:

Schedule family down-time and make it a routine: go for a walk before dinner, go for hikes on the weekends, read books together, have a dance parties in the kitchen, spend 10 minutes before bed working on a puzzle- basically do whatever your family loves to do. (Bonus: take away all screens—Yes, even parents 😊)
Sit down with your child and ask them what activities make them happy – choose their activities from there and let them be a part of the process. A sense of ownership over their schedule will probably help them feel more motivated, engaged and less out of control.
When you start seeing signs of stress (ie: crying over homework, lack of sleep, irritability [outside the norm], unwillingness to get in the car to go to ____ activity), have a conversation about it and re-assess. It’s A-Okay to take-off a little time from dance lessons and revisit the option later.

Balancing Busyness