by Ashley Colclasure, LPC-MHSP

Ohhhh the wise words of Denis, my cycle instructor this morning.

If you know me well (or see me for counseling) you know that I pick up little nuggets of wisdom wherever I go. Just last week, one of my clients told me – “Oh I have a few memes for you – I know you love them!” ((Insert a face of shame because I am certain that my Vanderbilt professors would frown upon me using Instagram references and memes as a therapy technique!;))

But I think that is the curse of counseling for me. People assume that counselors are always diagnosing or making judgments others. And I am sure that those counselors are out there. My mom always says, “Oh Ashley … don’t “therapize” me!” It has become a joke in our family.

I actually don’t struggle with that. I know that we are all human and messy and that everyone has their story and that the truth is always in the middle, etc. etc.. What I DO struggle with is the amount of post it notes with silly one-liners that fill my purse, my car console, my planner, etc. It’s a problem. I learn from my “everyday,” and cannot unhear wisdom once I hear it.

…and Denis gave me one today during my early morning bike ride:

Cheap Love is Priced Right.

Lane Beatty, Rooted’s marriage and family therapist, wrote a blog recently about how marriage is hard, and how actually the strongest marriages are often the ones who have gone to the depths.

When someone comes into my office, they are usually not talking about all of the good things – they are talking about the hard stuff – the real stuff – the stuff that keeps them up at night. What. A. Gift. I work in a profession that values tough, real, deep love.

We live in a world of Cheap Love – it’s not about depth of relationships, it’s about number of relationships. It’s not about what is going on on the inside, it’s about how you look on the outside. It’s not about authenticity, it’s about appearance. It’s not about the process, it’s about the result.

Many of us live life like mosquitos skipping on the surface of the water. We keep it shallow, because it is easy. It doesn’t cost us anything. But things that come easy usually don’t stretch us to build character, resilience or deep true loving relationships.

So stretch yourself – press in on relationships that build depth of character and have that tough love conversation you have been putting off. Remember that sometimes what comes easiest is not always what is best. Cheap love is priced right.